A Whole NewWHAT!
by Insanity4Apples
Summary: random story. funny story. kagome gets kidnapped by hojo and is forced to hear him sing... this is what happens when youre bored and your friend wont text you. this story will only work if you can see double meanings. do not read if you like KagomexHojo


Lucario: umm...yeah, IM not even sure why i did this so...enjoy (hopefully).

**A WHOLE NEW...WHAT?**

It was just a normal day for Kagome. Going out of the well, into it, out of it, and on and on. She only went back and forth like that because Kaede was ill and needed treatment. Inuyasha and the others went in presuit of a demon with a shard early in the morning, so Kagome didnt get there in time. Right now, she is getting supplies from her house to treat Kaede with. Unfortunately, she doesnt know who's waiting for her on the other side...

"This should do it! I have just enough supplies here to care for Kaede." Kagome said to herself as she jumped down the well then came back out the other side.

"Ooooh Kagome!" shouted a voice whom she knew none too well. One that annoyed her and freaked her out no matter which time period she was in.

"...Oh. Hi Hojo."

"It is so nice to see you again Kago-" he gets cut off by Kagome walking off towards the villiage.

"Sorry Hojo, but i gotta go!" shouted Kagomeas she fled as fast as she could.

"Oh Kagome. Why must you treat me so rudely? Cant you see i am deeply in love with you?" sighed Hojo as he watched her go. _It just isnt fair!_ he thought. _We were MEANT for each other! why cant she see it?_ but then he got an idea. A creepy idea. A clueless idea. And most of all, A STUPID IDEA. _I'll sing for her! That's it! Then she'll love me! But how will i get her to come? Looks like i'll have to use force. GENTLE force! Wait, isnt that an oxymoron? Oh whatever! I need a brick and some rope!_ and so he marches off, determined to win "his woman's" heart.

Meanwhile, back at Kaede's house...

"Feeling better, Lady Kaede?"

"Much dear. Thank you Kagome. Thanks to your future remedies, i'll be up and moving by tomorrow."

"No problem. I better get back to my time. Mom'll be worrying where i am."

"Okay dear. But be careful."

"I will. Bye!" says Kagome as she walks out the door. _I'm glad i could help her. And i even have enough time left to study for exams! I dont even see Hojo around. This is turning out to be a pretty good da- _her thoughts were cut off as Hojo hits her on the head with the brick he found.

"Yes! I did it! Finally, she will be mine!" yells Hojo as he drags her away.

A few minutes later Kagome wakes up, tied to a tree with Hojo smiling at her.

"...Hojo, why did you tie me up? For the last time, i dont love you!"

"YET! Which is exactly why i have to sing this song for you! It had to be about sex, so this is it!"

"Oh God...Hojo, please dont-"

"Overruled!" screamed Hojo as he takes out his Kagome plusie. Creepy huh?

(**"Plushie" **_"Hojo" _"Both")

_"I can show you the world_  
_Shining, shimmering, splendid_  
_Tell me, princess, now when did_  
_You last let your heart decide?_

_I can open your eyes_  
_Take you wonder by wonder_  
_Over, sideways and under_  
_On a magic carpet ride_

_A whole new world_  
_A new fantastic point of view_  
_No one to tell us no_  
_Or where to go_  
_Or say we're only dreaming"_

While Kagome is being scarred for life, Hojo starts making his plusie sing, which scars her even more.

**"A whole new world**  
**A dazzling place I never knew**  
**But when I'm way up here**  
**It's crystal clear**  
**That now I'm in a whole new world with you"**  
"Now I'm in a whole new world with you"

**"Unbelievable sights**  
**Indescribable feelings**  
**Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling**  
**Through an endless diamond sky"**

**"A whole new world"**  
_"Don't you dare close your eyes"_  
**"A hundred thousand things to see"**  
_"Hold your breath - it gets better"_  
**"I'm like a shooting star**  
**I've come so far**  
**I can't go back to where I used to be"**

_"A whole new world"_  
**"Every turn a surprise"**  
_"With new horizons to pursue"_  
**"Every moment red-letter"**  
"I'll chase them anywhere  
There's time to spare  
Let me share this whole new world with you"

"A whole new world  
That's where we'll be"  
_"A thrilling chase"_  
**"A wondrous place"**  
"For you and me"

"..." Kagome just stares, silent, eye twitching.

"Sooooo? Do you love me now?"

"...Two things. One. How is that song about sex?"

"Go over the words in your head."

"...Oh my God...okay. Two. NO! I DO NOT AND I NEVER WILL!"

"Oh well. I'll simply keep you here!"

"WHAT?"

"I will keep you here until you love me."

"I dont think so, ya little idiot!" says Inuyasha from behind as he hits him on the head.

"Inuyasha! Thank God!" sighs a thankful Kagome.

"No fair! You snuck up behind me, Inuyasha!"

"Too damn bad. It's what ya get." he goes over and slashes the ropes, freeing Kagome.

"Took ya long enough to get here."

"Well, sor-ry! The demon was a bigger problem than we thought, okay?"

"Lets just go. I need to get home."

"Whatever."

They walk off, leaving Hojo to drown himself in his frustration._ Damn it! _Hojo thought. _I guess i'll have to try again tomorrow._ And so, he sits there, brushing the hair of his Kagome plushie, thinking of singing Kagome the song "Show Me Your Genitals" the next time...

**END.**

Lucario: this story came to me today. i remembered the time my friend came over and we started thinking about aladdin. we thought of the words in the song "A Whole New World" and well...this will only work for people who know thw double meaning of words. so bye.


End file.
